Ways to be more tolerant!

If only life was full of sweetness and light and we were tolerant to everything we encountered….
Unfortunately life isn’t always that way and tolerance is a difficult thing to possess

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           Define Tolerance!

Let’s first think about what tolerance is and its meaning, we want people to treat us with respect,understanding and acceptance, in return we should reciprocate these virtues meaning a tolerance of the diversity of others and our societies!
Acceptance is similar to tolerance but different ~ you can tolerant something or someone without accepting them however you can’t accept without tolerating first…..

Understanding of something or someone helps with tolerance and then hopefully eventually acceptance.

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If we were to try to envisage tolerance it would I think be blue, silver, even translucent, a calm gentle being. Something of great importance to each of us and the world.

We all remember being intolerant……..
It would be almost impossible to not feel intolerance at sometime in our life’s. There are ways we can change our thoughts though and try and practice more tolerance.

Ways to help you practice more tolerance……

1.Put yourself into someone elses shoes, imagine being them, living their lifes, this can help all of us to have more acceptance once we understand.

2. Communication is incredibly important it helps to shed light on how someone or something is, it helps again with understanding. Taking down the barriers of misunderstanding……

3. Education of our minds we don’t have to compromise on our beliefs or not be who we are to tolerate others or things around us.
Just as ~

John F Kennedy said

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4. Realisation that others or situations don’t compromise us, leads to acceptance…….

These are just a few tools to help us all be more tolerant in our everyday life’s.

I myself have to check my thoughts most days and think differently to stop myself acting out my feelings brought about by thoughts of negativity.

As always try to remember you are special and others differences can only enrich our life’s so please let’s try tolerance and with it we may just reach some personal peace……

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Mandy.xx

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Is sales shopping mania just human instinct?

What a day yesterday I experienced in the brimming, crowded, crazy Trafford centre in Manchester.
Everyone out for a bargain in the infamous boxing day sales here in the UK.

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It wasn’t a pleasant experience by any means, the shopping centre was impossible to navigate, people barging, elbows, knocked into, and this wasn’t even in a shop yet…..

You literally had to be on full alert just for a shopping experience…….

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Aggression out of control!

Seeing two young women actually fight over a pair of shoes in “Next” really was  incredible.
A boy was sitting on them while a women tried to pull them from under him and with that an altercation exploded between the adults, scary stuff!!!
All this aggression must of been coming from somewhere, how can we behave in such a barbaric way.

Psychologist do compare this kind of behave to that of our ancestors millions of years ago. The hunter, gatherer instinct taking over our usual civilised way of life.

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The need to stock pile!

The consumer expert and author of “consumerology”  ~Phililip Graves
   >>>>  http://bit.ly/1wt10co 
explains we have despite us thinking the opposite, the need to be better, just as cavemen competed for leader of the pack by stock piling, we think we must have something when actually we don’t, merely to be superior but in so many ways for the wrong reasons….

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It has been noted by scientists too that chemicals are released when shopping called dopamine, which enchaces mood. Fight or flight instinct is heighten, and once we see someone getting a bargain we think we should have the same.

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So next time I’m shopping in the sales I won’t be as surprised by the reaction of others but I will try and stop my behaviour becoming barbaric because I don’t need to stock pile.
I have more than enough clothes at least to last me a lifetime……

Do you have any sales shopping experiences to share?

Mandy.x

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What is the true meaning of the “Lord of the rings”

Having watched on two consecutive evenings two of the “The lords of the rings” written by “J R R Tolkien” trilogy with my son I hasten to add, I got to thinking and we discussed what is the true meaning of the The lord of the rings”

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This incredibly popular story and since recently movies are on further investigation often under scrutiny of their true meaning.

J R R Tolkien first published the story in three novels over a course of a year from July 1954 to October 1955
Taking into account he began his work on this fantasy Masterpiece in 1917 and really carried on working on it through the two world wars.
The three books are :
” The Fellowship of the Ring”
” The Two Towers”
” The Return of the King”

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The meaning behind the story has been under extensive analysis from many, its been stated it has origins in mythology and was influenced because of his dislike of industrialisation.

The main outline of the story being centred around one ring and that ring being the downfall of all and for man, elf or dwarf to be influenced by its darkness as intended by the dark lord Sauron who forged it.

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My take on this amazing fantasy
                   triololgy!

Well I see many meanings,  many relationships and powerful messages.

1. I am intrigued by the wonder of the relationships of the hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Merry and pippin. Friendships that dispite many knocks stay strong and loyal and are wonderful to follow.

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2. Good over evil with Frodo and Sam throwing the ring into Mount Doom. In the third and final book “The Return of the the King”

3. The importance of home with the hobbits talking about the shires and longing to be back there throughout the whole story.

4. To never under estimate anyone, with the hobbits showing determination despite everything being against them to succeed.

5. The magic of the wizard Gandalf and heroic efforts always helping the good. Its been noted from some that actually he symbolises Angels.

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6. The diversity of the Elves, Dwarves and man and their cultures being so different. Despite this their alliance is formed and helps the fight against darkness.

7. The disturbing twisted personality of Gollum who’s obsession with the ring and calling it Precious is a constant battle of his two selves throughout the books.

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8. Everyone falls in love with Aragon and he has a life long love affair with Arwen throughout the story.

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9. The brutality of the Orcs and the drudgery of their existence almost being a similarity to industrialisation.

Hidden messages.

All dramatic films leave an impression in our minds as do events of high drama in our very existence.
Take from this fantasy what you will but those hidden messages are there just as they are in our life’s.
So use your inner depth whenever possible and remember thoughts and feelings are what make us.

Peace fell upon middle earth and all was well, try and reach peace within yourself and see your life transform.

What is your opinion on “The lord of the Rings” ?

Mandy. x

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“8” childhood Christmas memories from the 70s!

I was recently reminiscing with friends about our precious Christmas memories from childhood.
How we felt that excitement, anticipation, sheer wonder of Christmas night.
I remember we had pillow cases and we left them on the landing!
Waking several times in the night, thinking has he been yet, is it light yet……

Those amazing perhaps outrageous decorations, balloons on the pictures, concertined paper strings of all vibrant shades hung on the ceiling. Tinsel, all things sparkling!

What wonderful times they were, Nostalgia, vintage, call it what you want but one thing I remember is a warm happy feeling of a simple life without worries or complications.

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Presents didn’t arrive from a courier, we didn’t buy on line, there were amazing toy shops and then there was Woolworths……..

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I have complied a list of all the favourite things we received, the presents we remember, the ones that have stayed in our memories with such joyous delight of childhood wonder…….

1.Who doesn’t remember the wombles, the  iconic song ” The wombles of Wimbledon common are we “

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2. The infamous Raleigh Chopper bike, every boy in the neighbourhood wanted one…..

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3. My personal favorite “Daisy” the equivalent to Barbie. My sister decided to style Daisies hair on mine and cut it short, I’ve never forgiven her to this day!!

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4. Again every boy longed for a box of this Meccano…

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5. The famous selection box with the confectionery that’s now changed names, Marathon now Snickers!

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6. Tiny tears doll was one of my childhood favourites too. The equivalent of today’s Baby born!

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7. The girls Raleigh shopper bike with the cute bag on the back.

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8. Last but by no means least from the children’s programme “playschool” the character “Humpty Dumpty”

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         Memories that last a lifetime.

With all those wonderful feelings and thoughts from days gone by, let’s go make more precious memories for our children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews all children in our homes this Christmas eve and festive time.

Memories that stay with us for a lifetime, they are magical,spell bounding and our belief of such magic, such wonder, such enchantment shaped us into who we are today, we can always rely on these treasured, cherished memories whenever we need them…….
  

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Wishing all of you a wonderful Christmas and peaceful new year.

Mandy.x

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How to combat jealousy and envy!

Not one of us can say we haven’t felt envy or jealously in our life’s at one time or another, both emotions are constraining and dreadfully destructive to our whole being…..

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If we try and invisage jealously in our minds or actually had to draw or paint it, ugly would come to mind, a destructive monstrasty of a masterpiece would be created!

Understanding jealously vs envy!

Firstly to try and combat these negative soul crushing feelings we have to understand them, people do get them confused with each other , when actually they are different even though they do often appear together and produce similar reactions……

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            Envy!

This emotion is associated with you being  envious of what someone else has or may look like, its a desire to have that for yourself.
It involves just two people and usually is focused around someone similar to yourself maybe a work colleague or friend.

For example you are envious of their house, car or good looks or perhaps that they are acheiving or receiving better treatment at work than you.
psychologists actually say that envy and competiveness are linked, that a little envy isn’t actually that bad for us because it insights more success.

Where as…….

                    Jealously!

Is more an emotion of a fear of losing someone or something and usually involves a third party. Jealously can be accompanied by envy.

For example you may feel jealous because your boyfriend/girlfriend is talking to someone else and you could be envious of their good looks.

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Solutions!

1.  Be grateful of what you already have and try to focus your thoughts on to your differences.For example you may have something that other people envy…….

2. Don’t compare because we are all different and remember things aren’t always as they seem…….

3. Remember what really defines us are our thoughts and feelings not what we own. The quote ~ “Its nice to be important but more important to be nice”

4. Most importantly be happy and share in others success, this for me is the primary solution and possibly the hardest to achieve.

If we are continually accessing negative energy by being envious of others we are blocking positive feelings and not allowing ourselves what we actually desire……

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Love yourself and each other!

It goes back to self esteem, loving yourself is decidedly difficult but to combat the pain of envy and to stop  you wanting to take others happiness away.You must feel love to others and most importantly to yourself!!!

Always remember you are special and envy and jealously of other’s will inevitably always end in disaster and upset.

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So love yourself today and then love will come to you……….

Dispel envy for good!!

Mandy.x

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7 – Priceless things we take for granted!

This time next week it will be done and dusted and we’ll all be feeling a slight anti climax after Christmas.
Don’t despair though, we have so much to appreciate, we just need to look! Sometimes the priceless things in our lifes are the true wonders,the things we take for granted………

I have compiled my favourite “7” to help you keep positive after all the festivities!

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1. The beauty of the Sun its rise and fall gives us spectacular horizons. Especially this time of the year with the sun being so low.

2. A child’s delight at the magic of Santa’s arrival, their sheer marvel and wonderful priceless reaction.

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3. Feeling invigorated after an early morning run or brisk walk, your mind is clear and ready for the day ahead.

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4. Smiling at a complete stranger and getting a smile back, totally priceless….

Watch this video below in the link its hilarious but totally proves laughter when shared is wonderful……

>>>>>> http://bit.ly/1zHkksj

5. Singing in the car, shower ,bath and someone walking in or overhearing you. Alternatively stopping at the traffic lights and glancing to the other car and being embrassed, when realising they have been watching you singing your head off. Hilarious when vice versa as well!

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6. A hug from someone you love when you are feeling upset or just needing some affection.

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7. The beautiful smell of fragrant fresh roses and their vibrant colours and irregularities of nature.

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Appreciation.

There are so many more reasons to be appreciative of our lives, we just need to be aware.
Keep those thoughts in check and your life will transform for the better, really, try it!

Mandy

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Can music help with Alzheimer’s?

For anyone that has experienced the effects of in my opinion, the cruelest of disease’s Alzheimer’s, then you’ll totally understand when I say that if only one person reads this blog and takes comfort then I’ve achieved my goal…

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                   My mum.

I grew up in a loving wonderful family with siblings older than me so therefore I guess you could say I was somewhat spoilt!
We were a typical average working class family in the 70s, life was good.
My siblings went on to be hugely successful mainly down to the support of my parents in their formative years.

However this story isn’t about my siblings or me for that matter, its about my mother and father and how the dreadful diesese Alzheimer’s has infected our family.

      Emotional fallout!

The mixture of emotions felt are indescribable, the person you know and love is still there before you however they are so incredibly different!
Alzheimer’s isn’t purely just about memory loss, there are mood swings from suicidal to child like behaviour, paranoia and illusions.

Helplessness is a common feeling of those close to someone with this destructive mind robbing disease, I really would not wish it upon my worst enemy!

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         Music magic.

I recently read an article claiming music especially if headphones are worn can help the sufferer.
When each day has no silver lining anything however small is hope.

With this idea in mind, off I set to get the help of my son to put together an album of her favorite tracks from back then.
It was incredible the effect the music had on her mood, up dancing, it was almost as if she had been transformed back in time……..
The article I read was by “Alzheimer’s Foundation Of America (AFA)” and is very informative, have a look yourself by following the link below :
>>>>> http://bit.ly/1x0xeCC

There is no cure at this present time for Alzheimer’s or other dementia related diseases such as vascular dementia.

We can only hold on to each day and cherish those lucid days and if music is a tool to stimulation then I’m in…..

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For everyone out their who is living and caring for someone who is suffering from Alzheimer’s, keep strong.
Always ask for help and cherish your special memories of them forever…..

Please feel free to add your own personal comments on your own experiences of Alzheimer’s, let’s help each other!

Mandy.

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Is social media damaging our health?

After an incredibly informative two day course on social media in the trendy city of Nottingham.
I took myself off to the busy bustling train station for my dreary journey home.

Dreary being the descriptive imagine I’d like you to engage with because nowadays on any form of transport you might as well be invisible as for the lack of communication from my fellow passengers……….

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What can we blame this lack of communication to, its not only when travelling its everywhere…….
Mobile device ~ or smart phones as we like to call them, laptops, ipads any
device that has a wi-fi connection or 4g as I excitably discovered in the city.

Minds and eyes engrossed on screens!

So why am I so upset to not have a face to face conversation with a stranger on a train I hear you ask!
Well I’ll admit I am rather unusual, as I have told you in my previous blogs I do strike up conversations randomly with people, it’s good for the soul.

Recently on holiday the same thing happened, everyone everywhere was engrossed on devices, even around the pool!

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Now bearing in mind I had just been on a course concerning the importance of  social media you’d think I’d be estastic to see everyone particapting on social platforms!
Half of me was, after all I was doing the same, we live in 21st century, the world has technology mania…….

Health Issues!

However there are health warnings arising from this realitivly new phenomenon!
I’ll openly admit one of the first things I do in the morning is check my social media, its become a habit or would a pyscologist call it addiction?
The accredited blog in the link below written by “on line colleges” only confirms this :
>>>>>http:// http://bit.ly/1wda6it

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So let’s think about the downsides first……

1. Addiction.

2. Isolation due to not going out and interacting on a human level.

3. Lack of face to face contact resulting in, body language and expression being lost.

4. Misinterpretation of emotions and reading into things incorrectly.

We do all however gain alot of value from Social Media, the upsides are…

1. The world becomes an open playing field both for business and personal gain.

2. The isolation that some feel can actually be helped through making on line friends.

3. More criminals are being caught due to social media.

4. The platform of linkedIn is helping with employment analysis,  ie – working as a CV.

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             My view point.

This is a controversial subject and despite my worries around human conversation on a face to face bases, I do believe that social media is a positive within our lives.

Its still realitivly new only 10 years or less in some case’s, I do believe we will combat the negative with the positive, isn’t that what we humans do best – evolve!

So remember when you check your phone at every convenient minute to see if you have a tweet, like or +1, also try to arrange a meeting with friends for coffee or drinks at least once a week.

Otherwise we might just all turn into robots……..

Let me know what your view point is on Social Media?

Mandy.

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How kind will you be this Christmas?

We all remember an act of kindness!

Even when young we respond to kindness and animals show it unconditionally, so why as adults do we sometimes forget to perform those random acts of  “kindness”

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It will soon be Christmas and most of us will be fortunate enough to share our time with family and friends.

Warmth, laughter, fun, generosity and not forgetting kindness will be in full flow, rightly so, its a wonderful time of the year ~ please excuse my corny phrase!!

However on a more serious note there will be thousand who won’t have such an amazing festive time!
 Its been reported in the news here in the UK that homeless children is at an all time high  >>>>>>> http:// http://m.england.shelter.org.uk/news/november_2014/90,000_children_in_britain_to_face_christmas_homeless

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Memories of wonderful, happy. joyous Yuletides are all stored in our minds. We can use these thoughts to comfort us in times of troubles but imagine not having them………

I’m not even for one minute under any kind of illusion that I can change the lives of so many people, but if only we all just engaged our focus away from what we need for a short while and consider others less fortunate!!!!

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Ways to perform those random acts of kindness!

1. We all know someone elderly living in our neighbourhood, we take it for granted usually because our lives are so busy, that the old lady living two doors down has a relative visiting regularly. That isn’t always the case, knock on their door, inquiry ask if they need any shopping doing.
They will be full of gratitude for your act of kindness and you will in return experience feelings of self worth.

2. Recently my daughter suggested we buy a drink for the homeless man sat on the floor outside a shop, when we were enjoying lunch in a coffee shop. This is an act of kindness that again we can all practice…….

3. We all buy new clothes so next time you do, go and donate something you no longer wear to either a charity shop or shelter.

4. Give someone a lift to the shops or even help someone with their bags.

5. Praise someone to their boss. If you experience kindness say in the form of even a kind word spoken while shopping from a worker there. Don’t hesitate spread that kindness.

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The list is endless and acts of kindness however large or small are never wasted…..

So this Christmas time let’s make a ripple of human kindness to fellow men and not forgetting we can learn many lessons from our animal friends!!!

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Do you have any interesting stories of random acts of kindness?

Mandy.

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My ideas on self confidence!

How do you do it? ”

Well this blog is truly transparent from my point of view ~ ” l am about to bare my confidence or lack of it in years gone by! ”

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A lot of people “quote” say ~
You always look so glam”
That really is a great thing to hear, I won’t lie and say it doesn’t flatter me because then I would be deceiving you all! After all we just want acceptance don’t we!

Self Confidence is the key to everything.

I’m going to let you into my secret, its my confidence that people see!

I wasn’t always happy with my own being, I did feel incredibly self conscious and l was painfully shy as a teenager and into my twenties.

We all try I suppose to some degree to analysise our behaviour and really this is our downfall and was mine.

Comparison of others to myself was another big issue.

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So how can we relieve these feelings of inadequatance.

1. Remember one important thing, everyone at sometime has these feelings of low self confidence. You must try and install self worth, try and think differently and tell yourself on a regular bases all the things that you like about yourself however small!
Positive thoughts will eventually bring a more positive you.

2. Exercise clears the mind even if its a brisk walk, regular is best and for 20mins at least. Once you have the mind clearer from doing focused exercise you’ll be able to think better and see how amazing you are. Not to forget that your body will benefit physically, therefore leading to a better mental image of your body thus more positive thoughts.

3. Smile and try to engage wherever possible, I actually talk to people in queues etc, everyone feels ackward sometimes but if you take the barriers down show your human side, people respond with warmth. A smile can make someone’s day, imagine the self worth that can give you.

4. Appearance is a personal thing but if you wear clothes that you like and fit correctly automatically your confidence will rise, whenever we have been to the hairdresser we feel better wouldn’t you agree? Self worth also enables you to like yourself enough to treat yourself to a new outfit.

5. Helpings others in a voluntary capacity works wonders on the soul, its gives gratitude to ourself  from others so we therefore receive self confidence.

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The only person in your mind, thinking your thoughts is you, so tell yourself how wonderful you are until you do begin to feel it.

Thoughts and feelings are all its really about…….

Well I hope I have given you some useful information, so that when you turn up at the office Christmas party you turn heads when the new confident you walks through the door.

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Do bare in mind though that arrogance isn’t attractive so keep it humble……..

Let me know how you get on in that new black dress you are going buy!!!

Mandy.

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