Anguish and Alzheimer’s…….


Photograph by “Alan Mackenzie”

He screamed helplessness and fear,
Anger arising in a depth of raw emotion, His exasperating anxiety and despair,
This cruel mental decay of Alzheimer’s.

Acceptance hung in the desperate air,
Petulance always only a breath away,
How could this hellish illness be so.

Bring her back we ask in vain empty disbelief,
Knowing each day can only go one way,
Her warmth of love will never cease,
Missing her always left unspoken…..


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Why do we gossip?


Photograph by “Adhar Bahrudin”

We all love a good “gossip” if we are perfectly honest, its not perhaps the kindest thing to participate in and usually we all feel incredibly guilty whilst doing it!!!
So what is the reasoning behind it all….

Anthropologists actually believe that early man and throughout time gossip has been a tool to help humans bond and feel like they fit in.

“Guess what”  I said,
“No really, oh shocking, I can’t believe that, who would of thought it”  gasped my friend

Does this sound familiar, the exchange of gossip at someone else’s expense…

Media gossip….

Possibly nowadays its not as simple as in the school playground, office or at the garden gate type chit chat.

It has all taken to a new level, there are gossip magazine, reality TV shows where bitching is watched by millions just for higher ratings and the fundamental pleasure and entertainment of us the viewers or readers…

Social media platforms….

The higher platform of gossip in our fast moving 21st century digital technology fueled society is social media…
Think of twitter, Facebook, stories are like lightening crossing around the world, if a gossip type story gets momentum its very powerful and damaging to those involved….


Bonding but damaging!!!

So bonding groups but isolating those not joining in or worse ostracising and even demonizing the victims of their contempt…
If you have ever fallen foul to such hurtful accusations, you’ll understand such feelings of damage.
It may seem trivial to us when engaged in such idle gossip but really our actions can have powerful repercussions on other peoples self esteem.

People seem to thrive on others downfalls…

So sad that there isn’t more compassion and less comparison in today society.
Let’s try and find different ways to feel acceptance and less emphasise on feeding off other’s misfortunes…
Karma has a nasty way of catching up with you and so next time you hear a gossip communication taking place, try and put yourself in that persons shoes…..
Compassion, empathy, understanding, non judgement.
All ways to gain acceptance without  gossip…

Whether it be in the school playground, in the office workplace,on social media or more public gossip. Let’s try and withstand that feeling of fitting in so less gossip and more acceptance of those around us…..


Photograph by ” Joanne liu ”

Do you think gossip is harmful?


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All any of us really want is love……..


Photograph by “ruchit Sakhariya”

I asked myself why, is it because I’m a bad person, am I unlovable, I know deep in my heart I’m a good person.
We all want acceptance from others isn’t that an acknowledgment of our love.
I’m tired of trying to be loved, such hatred towards me is wearing me down, I can pretend but deep in my heart I’m afraid…….
Maybe the best questions are asked in silence but this one is wearing thin and is in need of an answer.
We can all question and try to do what we think is for the best but really deep within our soul all we ever really want is love, to give love and to be loved….
To be hated day by day is like a slow death, to analyse why is like torture, to be verbaly told everyone hates you, just for their justication is mental cruelty.
Self preservation will prevail and stronger will emerge but for now she will continue in silence.
The face of smiles, of caring for others over and above herself  is always a signal of someone who has been deeply hurt, who has little worth despite the arrogant invention…

On reflection maybe it isn’t her thats unlovable but him but it will never feel that way…
                To be loved…. X

All any of us ever really want is to be loved, to be exactly who we are meant to be, to be allowed to be who we are without prejudice, without judgement, with acceptance and then maybe then have a feeling of peace……..



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A glimpse of her……..


           Picture by ~

Life,Unscripted photography

This isn’t really my usual kind of upbeat story or inspiring tip or insight, its more a reflection, a glimpse of my sadness that I keep secretly locked away, the hurt we all hide behind…..

I ask you to respect my open emotion and perhaps I may still consider there will be someone I reach and influence even in my frankness!

I rang the door bell several times not sure of the response, not forgetting the reason we were there, always present in my mind….

With immediate action she answered, not the “who is it…??” as I’d expected.
With hesitation I quickly put our reason forward for visiting not wanting to give her any suspicion that we were there to keep an eye, to make sure she stayed safe!
How time does change what once we knew, the tide had turned taking whatever it needed in its wake.
Her illness was taking hold at a faster rate now, yet still hope prevailed in us all, what other choice did we have……

She seemed calm, in a wonderful world of her own, busy with knitting needles and pieces of string in knots all covering the table top!
“I’m tidying out” she explained  and at once she went about her task as if we were invisible, quietly placing things back just as they were before….

I looked at her face, into her eyes, a deep clear vibrant sky blue, utterly beautiful, and her silver shimmering hair, almost no interaction, no eye contact, just her world……


“Dorothy Webb”

I miss our chats, I miss telling her what’s happening to me to everyone in my world, our world……
The sharing, the advice, even the criticism, but what about the listener, of that she was supreme!

Just then as she turned to walk away, I saw her, as I talked nonsense as sure I do to cover my anguish, she smiled, her eyes had a glint or was it just the reflection or was it a glimpse of her…….

Alzheimer’s is one of the fastest growing illnesses in the west and sure to increase as the ageing population grows over time.
Never give up hope because even a small glimpse can warm the heart of all its loss….


Picture by~
“Bahman Farzad”


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Ways to be more tolerant!

If only life was full of sweetness and light and we were tolerant to everything we encountered….
Unfortunately life isn’t always that way and tolerance is a difficult thing to possess


           Define Tolerance!

Let’s first think about what tolerance is and its meaning, we want people to treat us with respect,understanding and acceptance, in return we should reciprocate these virtues meaning a tolerance of the diversity of others and our societies!
Acceptance is similar to tolerance but different ~ you can tolerant something or someone without accepting them however you can’t accept without tolerating first…..

Understanding of something or someone helps with tolerance and then hopefully eventually acceptance.


If we were to try to envisage tolerance it would I think be blue, silver, even translucent, a calm gentle being. Something of great importance to each of us and the world.

We all remember being intolerant……..
It would be almost impossible to not feel intolerance at sometime in our life’s. There are ways we can change our thoughts though and try and practice more tolerance.

Ways to help you practice more tolerance……

1.Put yourself into someone elses shoes, imagine being them, living their lifes, this can help all of us to have more acceptance once we understand.

2. Communication is incredibly important it helps to shed light on how someone or something is, it helps again with understanding. Taking down the barriers of misunderstanding……

3. Education of our minds we don’t have to compromise on our beliefs or not be who we are to tolerate others or things around us.
Just as ~

John F Kennedy said


4. Realisation that others or situations don’t compromise us, leads to acceptance…….

These are just a few tools to help us all be more tolerant in our everyday life’s.

I myself have to check my thoughts most days and think differently to stop myself acting out my feelings brought about by thoughts of negativity.

As always try to remember you are special and others differences can only enrich our life’s so please let’s try tolerance and with it we may just reach some personal peace……



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