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This isn’t really my usual kind of upbeat story or inspiring tip or insight, its more a reflection, a glimpse of my sadness that I keep secretly locked away, the hurt we all hide behind…..
I ask you to respect my open emotion and perhaps I may still consider there will be someone I reach and influence even in my frankness!
I rang the door bell several times not sure of the response, not forgetting the reason we were there, always present in my mind….
With immediate action she answered, not the “who is it…??” as I’d expected.
With hesitation I quickly put our reason forward for visiting not wanting to give her any suspicion that we were there to keep an eye, to make sure she stayed safe!
How time does change what once we knew, the tide had turned taking whatever it needed in its wake.
Her illness was taking hold at a faster rate now, yet still hope prevailed in us all, what other choice did we have……
She seemed calm, in a wonderful world of her own, busy with knitting needles and pieces of string in knots all covering the table top!
“I’m tidying out” she explained and at once she went about her task as if we were invisible, quietly placing things back just as they were before….
I looked at her face, into her eyes, a deep clear vibrant sky blue, utterly beautiful, and her silver shimmering hair, almost no interaction, no eye contact, just her world……
I miss our chats, I miss telling her what’s happening to me to everyone in my world, our world……
The sharing, the advice, even the criticism, but what about the listener, of that she was supreme!
Just then as she turned to walk away, I saw her, as I talked nonsense as sure I do to cover my anguish, she smiled, her eyes had a glint or was it just the reflection or was it a glimpse of her…….
Alzheimer’s is one of the fastest growing illnesses in the west and sure to increase as the ageing population grows over time.
Never give up hope because even a small glimpse can warm the heart of all its loss….
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