Why do we gossip?

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Photograph by “Adhar Bahrudin”

We all love a good “gossip” if we are perfectly honest, its not perhaps the kindest thing to participate in and usually we all feel incredibly guilty whilst doing it!!!
So what is the reasoning behind it all….

Anthropologists actually believe that early man and throughout time gossip has been a tool to help humans bond and feel like they fit in.

“Guess what”  I said,
“No really, oh shocking, I can’t believe that, who would of thought it”  gasped my friend

Does this sound familiar, the exchange of gossip at someone else’s expense…

Media gossip….

Possibly nowadays its not as simple as in the school playground, office or at the garden gate type chit chat.

It has all taken to a new level, there are gossip magazine, reality TV shows where bitching is watched by millions just for higher ratings and the fundamental pleasure and entertainment of us the viewers or readers…

Social media platforms….

The higher platform of gossip in our fast moving 21st century digital technology fueled society is social media…
Think of twitter, Facebook, stories are like lightening crossing around the world, if a gossip type story gets momentum its very powerful and damaging to those involved….

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Bonding but damaging!!!

So bonding groups but isolating those not joining in or worse ostracising and even demonizing the victims of their contempt…
If you have ever fallen foul to such hurtful accusations, you’ll understand such feelings of damage.
It may seem trivial to us when engaged in such idle gossip but really our actions can have powerful repercussions on other peoples self esteem.

People seem to thrive on others downfalls…

So sad that there isn’t more compassion and less comparison in today society.
Let’s try and find different ways to feel acceptance and less emphasise on feeding off other’s misfortunes…
Karma has a nasty way of catching up with you and so next time you hear a gossip communication taking place, try and put yourself in that persons shoes…..
Compassion, empathy, understanding, non judgement.
All ways to gain acceptance without  gossip…

Whether it be in the school playground, in the office workplace,on social media or more public gossip. Let’s try and withstand that feeling of fitting in so less gossip and more acceptance of those around us…..

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Photograph by ” Joanne liu ”

Do you think gossip is harmful?

Mandy.x

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We all need friendship!

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words…….

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Photography ~ Raj koppula.

Friendship is priceless…..

We all have friends, some are merely acquaintance’s, some are casual contacts but there are a handful maybe less, that are truly special friends.

Childhood friendships…

We all remember our childhood playground experiences of friends, back then it was based on games played together, toys shared, even sometimes just down to the geographic reason of being neighbours.
Either way childhood friends if kept into adulthood are extremely special.
The experience of literally growing up together, memories of wonderful fun times is incredibly powerful, an almost identity between you both is present, truly priceless….

Work friends!

I myself have made some amazing friends through my work, one in particular has been present in my life and remains a constant support to the present time. I have been blessed…
However this isn’t true of all work colleagues sometimes the competition of getting ahead can raise that green eyed monster I have discussed before.
Friendships have to be based on mutual respect for their success.

Definition of friendship!

1. Friends have mutal respect, except each other for being exactly who they are without any judgement.
2. Similar moral and social beliefs and interests.
3. Have experienced ups and downs and have always shown forgiveness and compassion.
4. Understanding of each others good and bad traits.
5. Standing by each other in times of troubles with a listening ear and showing sympathy….
6. Maybe the hardiest being genuinely happy and excited for each others successes.

The list goes on…..

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Photograph by Malina Sternberg.

The Dunbar theory!

Robin Dunbar a British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist and a specialist in primate behaviour, came up with a number of “150” people the number we can interact with to read more on this subject just follow the link below….
>>>>>> >http://bit.ly/1tS2f5h&lt; <<<<<<

Social Media friendships.

With today’s technology we now have hundreds of friends, Facebook, twitter, google +, even has circles for your different kind of friends, best, family, acquaintance, work etc, its endless.
Some people say this new form of social interaction isn’t healthy for us, maybe the amount, the numbers are dangerous or risky but from my experience social media enables us to make truly good friends too.

Have a read of my blog titled ~ Is social media damaging our health…
Click on the link below -:
>>>> > http://wp.me/p5rh4Q-1a < <<<<

My reflection…….

Friendship is good for the soul, openness, sharing experiences, helping with self esteem, all things positive.
I look forward to meeting up with my special friends, I cherish them, I’m grateful for their frankness, honesty, kindness and laughter.

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I’m off to met up with one of my good friends today, why don’t you do the same, ring them, message, text, email, communication is now endless,  keep making memories….

Can you remember your best childhood friendship?

Mandy.x

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Is social media damaging our health?

After an incredibly informative two day course on social media in the trendy city of Nottingham.
I took myself off to the busy bustling train station for my dreary journey home.

Dreary being the descriptive imagine I’d like you to engage with because nowadays on any form of transport you might as well be invisible as for the lack of communication from my fellow passengers……….

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What can we blame this lack of communication to, its not only when travelling its everywhere…….
Mobile device ~ or smart phones as we like to call them, laptops, ipads any
device that has a wi-fi connection or 4g as I excitably discovered in the city.

Minds and eyes engrossed on screens!

So why am I so upset to not have a face to face conversation with a stranger on a train I hear you ask!
Well I’ll admit I am rather unusual, as I have told you in my previous blogs I do strike up conversations randomly with people, it’s good for the soul.

Recently on holiday the same thing happened, everyone everywhere was engrossed on devices, even around the pool!

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Now bearing in mind I had just been on a course concerning the importance of  social media you’d think I’d be estastic to see everyone particapting on social platforms!
Half of me was, after all I was doing the same, we live in 21st century, the world has technology mania…….

Health Issues!

However there are health warnings arising from this realitivly new phenomenon!
I’ll openly admit one of the first things I do in the morning is check my social media, its become a habit or would a pyscologist call it addiction?
The accredited blog in the link below written by “on line colleges” only confirms this :
>>>>>http:// http://bit.ly/1wda6it

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So let’s think about the downsides first……

1. Addiction.

2. Isolation due to not going out and interacting on a human level.

3. Lack of face to face contact resulting in, body language and expression being lost.

4. Misinterpretation of emotions and reading into things incorrectly.

We do all however gain alot of value from Social Media, the upsides are…

1. The world becomes an open playing field both for business and personal gain.

2. The isolation that some feel can actually be helped through making on line friends.

3. More criminals are being caught due to social media.

4. The platform of linkedIn is helping with employment analysis,  ie – working as a CV.

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             My view point.

This is a controversial subject and despite my worries around human conversation on a face to face bases, I do believe that social media is a positive within our lives.

Its still realitivly new only 10 years or less in some case’s, I do believe we will combat the negative with the positive, isn’t that what we humans do best – evolve!

So remember when you check your phone at every convenient minute to see if you have a tweet, like or +1, also try to arrange a meeting with friends for coffee or drinks at least once a week.

Otherwise we might just all turn into robots……..

Let me know what your view point is on Social Media?

Mandy.

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