Do you love, hate in relationships?


Photograph by ‘Rosa’ Flickr

It has become so apparent to me from my writing, which is a revelation in many terms. That I feel emotions so intensely, that of empathy and compassion and on the other scale of hate, perhaps hate is too strong a word, dislike being a far superior description….
I have always thought of myself as passionate, I have been referred to by friends, family and lovers as highly strung, but now from this fantastic exercise of my personal blog I at last understand my persona!!

Its liberating, refreshing and perhaps a relief,  also I am trying to control the flip side of me, by not letting my ego run wild, its the thinking, feeling thing I’m always banging on about!


Photograph by ‘Mac d-ski photography

Do you love, hate in relationships?

It can be incredibly destructive this love, hate kind of relationship especially when it comes to boyfriend/ girlfriend emotions.
Intensely wild and hot in the bedroom but such heartache and disappointment in the real day to day affair.
Arguments and confrontation are paramount and things are very turbulent….

Psychologists do say it can point to a low self esteem which isn’t somewhere I would of put myself. The link below explains in more detail >>>>>>>>

However there is the theory that love and hate are not so far apart, when you love deeply it is natural to want to keep that positive wonderful feeling to ourselves protecting it, whereas with hate we share that feeling with others more freely.
Think about gossip and the need to tell!!
So to conclude if you love so deeply its only understandable that to protect it we could end up hating different aspects of the relationship in order for it to balance, thus and its protection…..


Photograph by ‘Manuel Orero’ Flickr

All in all its not a relationship trait I would recommend for long term, complicated and diverse are only a few of its problems…

Do you recognise yourself as being a love,hate type?

This song by U2 is very fitting >>>>>>
U2 – With Or Without You:

Mandy. X


Ten ideas for self reflection and improvement!


Photograph by ‘Jessica Warren’ Flickr

More often than not of late, I seem to be  experiencing others hurt and sadness, you only have to turn on the news and the horror of today’s world is there in all its dreadful glory!!!

I would just be ecstatic if we could quash the hate bestowed on others.

A big order but I will never give up hope, I’ll continue to grow my own self reflection and also trying my up most to help others understand there own emotions and actions of others that do ultimately cause pain and misery….

We do surely all of us long for peace of mind, a stillness that calms the human soul.
We must always remember that our thoughts are the key to everything, we are in total control of them, no one should be able to influence how we feel if we keep our minds in check.
Make it impossible for the negative energy, thrown at us by others, to not affect our lifes…..

I have over the years read many books, followed countless ideals, the two I follow and use in my everyday life are ~

‘The law of attraction’ link below if you want to learn more >>>>>>>

The other is a ‘A course in miracles’ by Marianne Williamson link below to her website well worth a look >>>>>>


My list of top ideas for self improvement and understanding….

1. Be with people that have different cultures and ideas.
This is a sure way to give you a better understanding of others and being in company when you are the minority gives a deeper feeling of trying to belong to something alien to your way of life. Thus helps with prejudice and understanding….

2. Getting closer to nature is fundamental to everyone’s health…
The trees grow, the animals have their own pecking order, the energies of nature are all in balance.
Get close to it, embrace it, smell the grass,the fragrance of the flowers, feel how you did when you played carefree as a child…

3. Forgive three people….
Letting go of past grudges helps let go of negative energy and cleanses the heart and mind..

4. Put yourself out and do something out of your routine for someone else’s advantage..
Incredibly rewarding and refreshing to put someone else’s needs before your own.

5. Walking away from confrontation…
Our ego does take over and wanting to be always right is not an attractive contribute or a good self improvement policy. Let it go and feel the satisfaction of self control.

6. Letting go of controlling ways.
We are all afraid of losing control of ours lives and sometimes we are all guilty of trying to control others and everything around us. Surrender to your inner child and feel the empowerment.

7. Meditation always beneficial.
If full meditation isn’t for you, at least always give yourself a half an hour period of quiet a day alone just with your thoughts to clear the mind.

8. My old favourite, talk to a stranger.
Getting out of your comfort zone and breaking down barrier’s, in doing so building your confidence and perhaps making someone’s day.

9. Laugh at yourself.
We all find it hard to laugh at our own mistakes and misfortunes but really humours a great grounding tool and lifts the spirit, try it!

10. Be yourself let someone into a secret of yours.
The saying goes a problem shared is a problem halved, the same goes for a secret you may have been harbouring in worry. Confiding in friends builds relationships and makes you and them feel like you all belong.

Growing and learning everyday…

Life’s a learning curve none of us can truly say we are so spiritually aware that we have nothing else to discover about ourselves.
I hope these ideas help with your self improvement in this fast moving random world we live in….


Thank you for taking the time to read.


Eyes to the soul….


Photograph by “Bahman Farzad” Flickr

Deep into her eyes you stare,
The gateway to her soul,
Will it show her true emotion,
Can you be sure of her honest intention.

Deep into her soul you glare,
Feeling her raw essence of meaning,
Can you look away from that mesmerising gaze,
Of a fascinating spirit….

Deep into her energy field you focus
Beyond the enchanted world of human,
Into a unique realm of wonder,
Varying colours  of reflective beauty….

Deeper you travel thorough your observe,
Will the eyes hold a secret,
Of whom we really are within,
Polished allure of all existence… 



Ten tips to help with confidence!


Photograph by “Mihaela Muntean”

“Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud”

I most definitely love wearing heels, for me they are almost like my uniform.
Having worked in the fashion industry for almost 30 years, I now pretty much have mastered what I like to wear and how to make myself feel confident.

Confidence is easy once you know how to fool everyone even if inside you are feeling nervous, like in an important interview or first date….

It comes from our thoughts and those very thoughts affect how we feel….
It’s the thought’s though that can be affected by outside energies and factors.
So let’s try to find ways to stop our thoughts being infected by outside exposure and to keep feeling self assured…..


I have always loved fashion because it’s a great way to express your mood. And I’m definitely a shoe lover. The right pair of shoes can change the feel of an outfit, and even change how a woman feels about herself. A woman can wear confidence on her feet with a high stiletto, or slip into weekend comfort with a soft ballet flat.


Ten tips for being more confident in any situation….

1. Eye contact.
When meeting someone for the first time always have eye contact, don’t stare into their eyes but on first introduction do look into them briefly and this will give you an air of confidence.
when conversing always nod and keep eye contact without this the other person will feel you aren’t interested or listening.

2. Body postures.
Incredibly important, think of someone walking with head downcast,shoulders slumped immediately anyone will think you are shy and withdrawn.
Whereas if you walk tall, eyes straight ahead, not only do you obviously look so much better, you will also have the benefit of actually seeing people and having eye contact with them.

3. Handshake.
Make any handshake firm never limp and unmeaning. My father has always emphasised the importance of a good handshake. Again don’t forget that eye contact, remember its the window to everything…

4. You are not alone.
Remembering you are not the only one feeling nervous or insecure. We always judge ourselves against others and this will again straight away lead us to lose confidence. So always bare in mind others around you are never as confident as their appear.

5. Wearing confidence.
What we wear speaks volumes about our confidence, but more importantly being comfortable in your own skin must come first before any type of outfit can enhance it.
So do wear things that make you feel good but love what you are more. ..

6. Make others like you..
This isn’t something everyone has conquered, but charisma works wonders. Once everyone likes you genuinely for who you are your self esteem will rise and more confidence will follow. Complimenting others and helping without reward is kindness and there is no better tool that showing random acts of kindness to boast your own confidence….

7. Exercise leading to confidence.
Not always easy to keep motivated with exercise but its dividend’s will definitely pay out. Getting in shape will instantly enhance your confidence. Go for it….

8. Wording.
Avoid the phrases ” I think” or ” I believe”. Use  a purely positive tongue, “I can” or “I will”
People will believe you if you say thinks with confidence and sound like you know what you are doing.

9. Confidence vs knowledge.
I have always told my children that being confident is just as important if not more so than having yards of knowledge. For example a withdrawn, shy person will not get the job despite whatever qualification’s they may have.
Knowledge also though on the other hand can give you confidence so really these go hand in hand….

10. Touch.
Don’t be afraid to gently touch someone, the power of our energy is immense and this small gesture in itself will shout confidence and empower you to be more confident in the future…..

Remember thoughts over feelings and so get out there and strut your stuff, you are beautiful and special, we all are.
Lets embrace the life we have……


Do you have any confidence tips to share?

Mandy. X

Everything is hope!


Without it we are lost,
It gives purpose for tomorrow,
I see it in my daydreams,
Even in my slumber.

Its like a shower of rainbows,
Pots of gold to find,
Let’s hold onto hope,
For all of mankind.

The softest silkiest yarn,
Tactile texture to touch,
For hope is divine
Upon our own fair skin.

So wake everyday with hope,
Then onward you will roam,
For in your heart will live a dream,
That’s always true to win ….

Never give up on hope!


Languages of love….


Photography by Mac Reddin.

Well its been a week long subject of love and valentine’s weekend most categorically has saturated us all with bags full oozing with Love.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with all this surrounding of affection and warmth most definitely not, especially with such hatred and violence in our world of today…..

I did however feel my blogging subject would change today but there is something in the air from all this positivity and so I’m embracing the energy and writing again on the theme of love…..
It will be the last for a while, promise!

Languages of love….

I stumbled upon literally earlier an article about the five languages of love ~

“The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman.
Link below to Wikipedia ~


Five different ways we interpret love.

Thinking back to thoughts and feelings and how we are in control of these, our own thought process, well it kind of made sense to me that we all do interpret things differently.
After all isn’t that where we go wrong in relationships by trying to reflect our own thoughts onto others instead of just listening to our own and aligning with them.

These five languages can apply to your personal relationship, family, friends and work relationships too…

So the different languages are ~

1. Words of affirmation..

Some people are affected greatly by the spoken word and so if words of appreciation are spoken to them more often they will feel more loved
Well worth a try I’d say….

2. Acts of service..

The saying actions speak louder than words, definitely apply here.
Washing the car, making a coffee helping with daily chores are all ways you could show this type of language of love receiver that they are loved…

3. Receiving gifts….

The actual act of showering someone with presents and gifts, I do find this one rather difficult to get my head around.
Only because for me objects don’t really guarantee happiness but remember I am telling this story from a book and I don’t have to agree fully with its entirety.

4. Quality time.

I have heard of sitting down and giving full attention to someone for 20 minutes, holding eye contact, conversing and actually listening is real quality time instead of just being there in person but not mind.
Technology has no doubt played havoc with this language of love, mobile phones take a lot of attention away from real time spent together.
Perhaps consider this if you think you know someone who needs this language to feel loved…

5. Physical touch.

We all know the power of a hug when we are upset or a pat on the back when having maybe won a sporting event and handshakes say so much about someone.
So for this language, hugging, holding hands and much deeper affection if this is your special personal relationship will confirm to this type person that they are loved….


Well I hope this has given you an insight into how different people interpret affection differently and that their energy reacts to different stimulus.

Let’s go and see if we can interpret how our close friends and family receive signals…

Which language works best for you?

Mandy. X

Loves many settings….


Love is a many beautiful feeling,
It has many different faces,
Deep passionate lust,
Care free youthful fun,
Tentative gentle and warm…

Surround yourself with all these,
Rummage delve jump right in,
Don’t be afraid of affection,
What can we be without love,
Frozen cold with pain like ice…

Life’s fulfilled when we enter embrace,
We can flourish glow with happiness
Cherish with all our hearts
The true wonder and magical light,
Of a love won or lost,
Better to of loved than not at all….

We leave a shadow one day,
Remembered for how they felt,
Love has no bounds or prejudice,
In hearts of those we touched,
Go cherish this moment infinite….

Love to you all this Valentines Day….


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The strength of man!


Don’t hide your face in shame,

Be strong show faith go forth,

Some will fall that is the form,

But the strong will prevail….


Strength has many faces to show,

Humanity, tenderheartedness without shame,

Following grace, involving rapture,

Strength holds the fall that is the form…..


It has conviction for others too,

Never selfish cruel or pretentious,

Humbled man in all his glory,

Will strength, can it hold the fall…..


Mankind evolves without still,

Forward he does march with gain,

Remember I ask to hold the fall,

For without the strong we could fail…..



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Do you suffer with OCD?


When I was small girl unknown to me I was suffering with a form of obsessive compulsive disorder “anxiety.”

I remember at bedtime having a ritual of having to count the letters and numbers on the sticker on my sister’s mirror.
My anxiety was that if I didn’t, I actually thought I would die.
It was such a strong need that, as soon as my mum said good night I would recite it in my head, “Trent FM 96.2”
I had a constant cough, nervous one really, it comes back if I’m ever under stress or unnerved usually the dentist these days.
These were a form of mild obsessive behaviour….

I didn’t however tell my mum about my counting and reciting I just kept it all in my head…. In those days things were not particularly talked about!

Years later I found my notebook, list obsession and really it has been my saviour, my OCD hasn’t ever interfered with my life directly,  well not that I’m consciously aware of, however for some it can mean their life’s are overtaken by fears of not checking, cleaning etc.

Have a read of “Kids health on OCD for more information>>>>>>>>>

The anxiety and deep strong feelings inside, true panic I do remember take over and trying to not listen to them is incredibly difficult.
Sometimes now I get strong feelings of cleaning and tidying sending everyone in my household crazy.
I’m aware of these feelings though and deep breathing and mind control can usually get me back to being a normal individual not a mad cleaning woman….

We all have to a degree a form of OCD depending on certain factor’s. It can be an inherited disorder but it’s the chemical serotonin that plays a main part, being blocked and fear and panic then sets in…..
For more detailed information click the link below>>>>>>

image  ” Woven thought”


So my take on my mild OCD is thoughts over feelings again, I’m fortunate I can control things but for some its not that easy…
If you are a suffering or have a child who you suspect is, decide firstly how severe and then if needed get medical advice.
If like me its manageable try training your mind to fight the need……

I hope my experience has helped you in some way and let’s control our minds for our benefit….

Do you suffer with OCD or know someone that does?



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Remembering your first love……


Photograph “Doug wheller”

First love….

Its nearly valentine’s day and love if we are lucky enough will be all around.

We all despite wherever we may be today remember our first love!

It could of been an innocent kiss, a crush or a deep passionate love affair. Either way we all have a special place in our hearts for that first spark, experience of enchantment.

Some may be fooled into thinking its going to be a fairytale, in fact for the most fortunate among us, that could be just the case.

Is it really all as we remember it though, have we simply magnified its slender, its wonder….

Psychologists actually say that often we do just that and exaggerate in our memories how special our first love really was just because we are unhappy with our present situation….
I’m unsure on this one so sitting on the fence with my opinion.
What’s your thoughts?


Photograph by “Yoann Jezequal”

No, this trick won’t work… How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

Albert Einstein

No, there’s nothing half so sweet in life as love’s young dream. – Thomas Moore

  Focus on the now….

So whether you believe in the magic of first love, soul mates or even love at first sight, just remember to live in the moment of now.
Love is around us we just need to open our hearts, however ironical
“Love is all we need”

Sam Smith Performs ‘I’m Not The Only One’:

Happy valentines day on Sunday…

Do you remember your first love?


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